The Best Man
by AceBrownIII
Summary: The flower arrangements have been ordered. The sleeping arrangements are still being worked out. Very slight AU. R
1. Prologue

**AceBrown: Okay, this is basically a crappy Naruto-version of the movie "The Best Man" by Malcolm D. Lee. If you seen the movie, you probably will know how the plot will go. Don't really know what gave me the idea to make this since I haven't seen this movie in about 3 years…so I might mess up the exact plot, but this gives me a chance for a lil creative writing! Now, I thought long and hard about whom I wanted to be the star character…and I decided to go with Shikamaru since I felt the story progressed better with him. Also, I changed around the village a bit…there will be cars, airplanes, stuff like that…I will try to keep everyone in character, but don't kill me if there is some OOCness…slight AU - Enjoy! :-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto characters in this story. Blah Blah Blah…**

_**The Best Man**_

* * *

**Prologue: Back to Konoha **

Shikamaru pondered his trip to Konoha as he packed his bags. The 26-year old was currently living in a village with his longtime girlfriend of 2 years, Temari (27 years old). She insisted Shikamaru move to Suna so they could spend more time together last year…troublesome woman. While in Suna, Shikamaru became a writer. The job was laid-back and allowed Shikamaru time to brainstorm while doing some of his hobbies such as watching the clouds…very minimum effort involved. Coincidentally, Shikamaru was a great writer. His debut novel, _Troublesome Matters_, became a huge success in Suna. Many people likened the story to Jiriaya's _Icha Icha_ Franchise with their steamy plots and autobiographical viewpoint.

"_I haven't been in Konoha for a whole year_…" thought Shikamaru. He never got around to making a trip to visit family and friends during his stay with Suna because he felt the distance was too much trouble. But, Shikamaru was determined to make the trip this time. Why? His best friend, Naruto Uzumaki, was getting married. Also, Naruto named HIM as his Best Man.

--

_**Wednesday night**_

The night was very peaceful. Shikamaru relaxed, staring at the ceiling as he lay against his girlfriend between her legs; both naked and lounging in a warm bubble-filled bathtub. This was one of the few instances where Shikamaru seen the "gentle" side of his girlfriend, something his father claimed as a reason on why he married Shikamaru's mother. Everything was at ease until suddenly, Temari sighed contentedly.

"You know…I could stay like this forever…" mentioned Temari. Shikamaru sighed at hearing this. He already knew where this conversation was headed…Temari noticed Shikamaru tensing up a bit.

"What do you mean?" asked Shikamaru. Temari trailed her hand over Shikamaru's chest and planted a small kiss on the side of Shikamaru's face before replying.

"I mean you and me…together…" whispered Temari in Shikamaru's ear. Shikamaru frowned at hearing this. Temari noticed the frown…

"Calm down, Nara. I'm just saying…we've been together for 2 years and you even admitted I'm the best girlfriend you've had. I just wanted to let you know I love you…that's all."

Silence.

"You do love me, right?" asked Temari.

"Of course I do…" said Shikamaru as he stared hard at the wall.

Awkward Silence.

"Wow…" said Temari as she abruptly stood up, letting Shikamaru's face and upper body submerge under the water. Temari angrily stormed out of the bathroom and Shikamaru sat up completely drenched.

"What? I didn't say anything!" cried Shikamaru as he tried to wipe his eyes.

"You didn't have to!" yelled Temari as he quickly put on a robe and walked away. Shikamaru shook his head and laid back, submerging his head under water again.

_Troublesome_…

This was the third time they had this little "dispute." Shikamaru already knew that Temari was ready to get married…but he just wasn't ready to commit to a woman now. He was just becoming successful as a writer and committing now could be a death-knell for him. Also, Shikamaru thought being tied down to a bossy woman was too troublesome. His father was a perfect example of living a troublesome married life. He thought his sensei Asuma Sarutobi had life figured out. He wasn't committed to Kurenai and lived a stress-free life. He remembered how cool he thought Asuma was as a genin.

_Troublesome_…

--

_**Early Thursday Morning**_

Shikamaru had his head rested against the passenger seat with his eyes closed as Temari drove him towards Suna Airport.

"…So why are you leaving early again?" asked Temari. She still pissed from last night.

"I told you, I want to hang out with the guys and catch up. I haven't been in Konoha for over a year." said Shikamaru calmly. "You're still coming on Sunday, right?"

"Yes."

Silence.

"Temari…about last night…"

"You don't have to explain, Nara. I know that you love me." answered Temari. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

_Just like her to interrupt my apology…bossy woman_

"I would just like some reassurance from time to time. All women do. I still have trouble figuring out what you're thinking sometimes…"

"Temari…I told you I love you, but with my book tour coming up an-"

"I read your book…_Rose _sounds nothing like me." stated Temari in a sour tone. Rose was the name of a female character in _Troublesome Matters_. She was the main love interest of the central character.

"She's not supposed to. _Rose _is just the collage of the females in my past relationships."

"Well, _John Doe _sounds completely like you! You make her sound like your soul mate!"

"I can't believe you're jealous of a fictional character…"

"What do you expect me to think, Shikamaru?" said Temari. Shikamaru groaned loudly.

"I really don't want to have this argument…" said Shikamaru, hoping the discussion ended there.

"It's not over, Nara!"

_Oh boy…_

* * *

I'll stop the prologue here for now. Hope you guys liked it!

**Read and Review**


	2. Chapter 1

**AceBrown: Chapter 1 packaged! Here you go!**

***If you don't read the manga, possible spoiler alert inside***

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto characters in this story. Blah Blah Blah…**

_**The Best Man**_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Youthful Mistake **

_**Thursday afternoon**_

Shikamaru landed in Konoha and waited for his arranged escort to pick him up. Shikamaru had hoped Tsunade had sent his best friend Chouji. Suddenly, a dark blue mini-van pulled up with words "Urban YOUTH Development" written on the side. Rock Lee stepped out wearing his traditional green jumpsuit. Shikamaru slapped his forehead.

"Yosh! Shikamaru-san!" yelled Rock Lee as he waved at the lazy writer enthusiastically.

--

"It is very good that you could come, Shikamaru-san!" chirped Rock Lee. He was just as Shikamaru remembered him from a year ago.

"Yeah…you still work at the Academy?" asked Shikamaru.

"Yes! Sadly, majority of my students have failed the graduation exam recently." replied Rock Lee. Lee was a special jonin who specialized in teaching the "dead lasts" of the Ninja Academy.

"Lee…why don't you just take the promotion to "Jonin" and get the 20% pay increase? Let someone else teach the kids…"

"Ah, but they have so much youthful vigor…I know I can turn them into splendid ninja!" said Rock Lee as his eyes literally turned into "flames of youth". Shikamaru knew Rock Lee probably felt a connection with his students since he was commonly known as a failure as a kid because he couldn't learn Ninjutsu or Genjutsu.

"Troublesome…I would think Sakura would have forced you to take the raise by now with how whipped you are." stated Shikamaru. Everyone knew Rock Lee and Sakura were dating…and everyone knew Sakura pretty much had her way with Rock Lee.

"That is not true!" gasped Rock Lee.

"C'mon…everyone see it! No one likes the way she treats you…" said Shikamaru. Every since the episode of Sakura's false "confession" to Naruto as well as lying to the other rookies in order to "save" her true love, Sasuke; Sakura wasn't a particularly well-liked kunoichi anymore. Also, many of the group thought Sakura was abusing poor Lee.

"Sakura-chan is a blossom of beauty and a caring kunoichi!" stated Rock Lee defiantly. He was infatuated with her.

"Eh…I guess she is alright."

"You didn't make her sound alright in your _book_…Oi!" said Rock Lee, flinching after he said "book."

"Wait…you read my novel?" asked a stunned Shikamaru.

"No, I didn't read anything!"

"How did you get a copy of my book? It's supposed to be sold only in Suna!"

"I don't have a copy, Shikamaru-san! Ino-chan has a copy, but…darn!" blurted out Rock Lee. He was terrible at keeping secrets.

"Ino has a copy of _MY_ book?!"

--

Shikamaru and Rock Lee watched Ino tend to a customer, Hokage Lady Tsunade, at the Yamanaka Flower shop from afar. The shop was filled with customers. Both men haven't introduced themselves yet.

_Ino Yamanaka…I bet she is still as bossy as ever_

"Is it always this busy around here now?" said Shikamaru as someone bumped against him.

"Yes, ever since Ino-chan took over from her mother! Her youthful energy has attracted plenty of customers!"

"What a drag…" stated Shikamaru as he placed his hands in his pockets. Suddenly, Rock Lee began to sport a goofy grin.

"So when was the last time you saw, Ino-chan?"

"About a year and a half. The last time I visited Konoha, she was off on a mission. Before that, we only spoke briefly since I was busy with the Chunin Exams and she was busy with…what?" stopped Shikamaru as he finally noticed Lee's goofy grin.

"You and Ino…you two shared in the passion of youth, didn't you?"

"Huh? "Passion of what?" What makes you say that?" asked Shikamaru.

"The book! _Rose_ is Ino! Out with it! Back then, you two…you know" stated Rock Lee as his grin got even wider. Shikamaru was a bit shocked at Rock Lee's assumption.

"You're hallucinating, Lee…" muttered Shikamaru.

"Liar! You are lying! It is not very youthful to lie!" said Rock Lee as he folded his arms and kept his "knowing" smile.

"Troublesome…here is the story…"

_**Flashback**_

_**We were both up late studying some scrolls for an upcoming mission. Chouji was already asleep and we were both dead tired. Only Stevie Wonder* was going to help us stay awake…**_

_The Ino-Shika-Cho trio was currently all at Shikamaru's place. Ino was struggling to stay awake as she read a scroll on her desk. Chouji was asleep on the sofa and Shikamaru sat with his back against the wall, dozing in and out of sleep._

'_This is troublesome…' thought Shikamaru as he stood up and turned on some music. Hopefully, the music would keep Ino awake; therefore she could keep him awake by yelling at him. The song "As" by Stevie Wonder began to play. Ino slowly turned to look at Shikamaru as the lazy ninja smirked. He knew Ino loved music and loved to lip-sync as well. Ino stood up dramatically and began sing the lyrics._

_**As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving  
And the rosebuds know to bloom in early May  
Just as hate knows love's the cure  
You can rest your mind assure  
That I'll be loving you always  
As now can't reveal the mystery of tomorrow  
But in passing will grow older every day  
Just as all is born is new  
Do know what I say is true  
That I'll be loving you always**_

Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky---ALWAYS  
Until the ocean covers every mountain high---ALWAYS  
Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea---ALWAYS  
Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream

_As Ino sang, she grabbed Shikamaru's hand; urging him to dance with her._

"_C'mon Shikamaruuuu!"_

"_Troublesome woman…"_

_**Did you know that true love asks for nothing  
Her acceptance is the way we pay  
Did you know that life has given love a guarantee  
To last through forever and another day  
Just as time knew to move on since the beginning  
And the seasons know exactly when to change  
Just as kindness knows no shame  
Know through all your joy and pain  
That I'll be loving you always  
As today I know I'm living but tomorrow  
Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear  
For I'll know deep in my mind  
The love of me I've left behind Cause I'll be loving you always**_

Until the day is night and night becomes the day---ALWAYS  
Until the trees and seas just up and fly away---ALWAYS  
Until the day that 8x8x8 is 4---ALWAYS  
Until the day that is the day that are no more  
Did you know that you're loved by somebody?  
Until the day the earth starts turning right to left---ALWAYS  
Until the earth just for the sun denies itself  
I'll be loving you forever  
Until dear Mother Nature says her work is through---ALWAYS  
Until the day that you are me and I am you---AL~~~~~~WA~~  
~~~~~AA~~~~~~~AA~~~~  
Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky~~~~~AA~~~~  
~~~~AA~~~~~~~AA~~~~~~~~~AA~~~~~~~YS~~A…

_Shikamaru and Ino swayed together as the song played. Shikamaru thought it was a pain that Ino was forcing him to embarrass himself by dancing with her, but it did make him feel good to see her smiling and having fun. As the song was nearing the end, Shikamaru kissed Ino on the forehead; a simple gesture. Then, they both locked eyes. Shikamaru's small, lazy eyes into Ino's blue eyes. They both leaned forward and began to make-out. Their lips gingerly touching as their bodies pressed against each other for warmth._

_**Real World**_

"I can't believe you never told me!" stated Rock Lee. His eager expression showing how much he was enjoying hearing this story.

"That's because you can't keep a secret." said Shikamaru.

"Yes, I can!" proclaimed Rock Lee.

"Were you supposed to tell me that you read my book?"

"Ah…note taken. Please continue!" said Rock Lee.

_**Flashback**_

_Shikamaru already had his shirt off as he trailed kisses down Ino's neck. Ino tilted her head back as Shikamaru lifted her purple top, revealing her bra-covered breasts. _

_**But Suddenly…**_

_**Unti-Unti-Unti-Unti-Unti-Unti-Unti-Unti-Unti-**_

_**The music began to skip.**_

_The pair both turned to the skipping radio, then looked back at each other. Ino stepped away from Shikamaru, feeling the lust emit from his body and eyes. She quickly pulled her top down and went back to her desk. Shikamaru stood in place for a while before turning the music off and moving back to his place against the wall. _

_**And then we both acted like it never happen. She probably realized she was making out with a lazy bum like me and I couldn't believe I made out with a bossy chick like her. So, we both acted like nothing ever happened…**_

_**End Flashback**_

"…And that's the story. Nothing happened." finished Shikamaru with a bored expression. Rock Lee pondered the story before saying,

"So the two control freaks couldn't get _in_ control and get freaky?"**

"Wow…I forgot how corny you could be sometimes…" said Shikamaru.

"I thought it was a youthful play on words."

"Nah, it was corny…"

--

Ino took a deep sigh. Being a wedding planner was becoming a pain. The Hokage came to personally approve the flower arrangements. Suddenly, she noticed Shikamaru and Rock Lee chatting.

_Shikamaru…_

Ino hadn't seen her old teammate in a long time. Butterflies began to flutter in her stomach as she watched him. Tsunade slid beside her and noticed the two men as well.

"So that's your old teammate…the brat's best man." stated the older woman.

"Yeah…" Ino said almost incoherently.

"We should probably get him to do an interview since his book is a best seller in Suna. You find a way to get Naruto to publicize his wedding?" asked Tsunade.

"No, bu-"

"Get it done." interrupted Tsunade as she took a shot of sake, which she got out of seemingly no where, and headed towards the men. Ino took a deep breathe before following the Hokage.

--

"…and you both use "controlling" techniques! Get it?" said Rock Lee.

"Drop it, Lee! It was corny!" said Shikamaru for the umpteenth time.

"Well hello there, Nara." said Tsunade. Shikamaru turned to the women and quickly took note of Ino.

"Ino…"

"Shikamaru…" Ino seemingly replied.

"Tsunade-sama!" Rock Lee said as he bowed courteously.

"So I assume you're here for the brat's wedding. You think we could get you to do an interview? I know the Konoha citizens would love to hear about your novel's success." asked Tsunade

"My novel?" replied Shikamaru.

"Yes, Ino has been raving all about it! I didn't think you were as much as a pervert as Jiraiya." said Tsunade. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at Ino.

"Well, it is my job to keep up with all the latest trends and gossip!" exclaimed Ino happily.

"Hmm…the interview sounds troublesome…but I'll do it." stated Shikamaru. Shikamaru and Ino met eye contact and awkwardly looked away.

"So…give me a hug. I haven't seen you in forever." said Ino with her arms outreached. Shikamaru walked into her embrace and they gave each other a warm hug.

"You can help me set up the interview, Ino."

"Okay!"

"Alright, I'm _all yours_…" said Shikamaru. The comment came out awkward. Rock Lee made his goofy grin at the statement. Ino smiled uneasily before resettling herself.

--

"OH MY GOD!!!!" yelled Ino as she hung up her cellphone. Ino, Shikamaru, and Lee walked through Konoha, the cool breeze flowing through the streets as Ino yelled several extremities, shocking a few people passing by.

"Planning this wedding is becoming hell! Naruto wants _ramen _at the wedding?! _RAMEN_?! And I still haven't gotten a photographer yet! Why me?"

"But Ino-chan, did you not personally ask to plan this wedding?" said Rock Lee in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Shut up, Lee!" yelled Ino.

"So where are we headed?" questioned Shikamaru.

"We are heading to the bar to meet up with Neji. A youthful evening awaits!" stated Rock Lee as he suddenly took off running down the street. Shikamaru shook his head.

"So Ino…how did you get a copy of my book?"

"I have access to _all _thingsthat are _IN_. Your book just happened to be _IN_." said Ino with a smirk.

_Troublesome woman…she should mind her own business…Shikamaru should have known the gossip queen would have gotten her mitts on his novel. Now, he just hopes it doesn't fall into the wrong hands…_

"Also, you do know Neji has a copy of your book as well?"

_**Thursday Evening**_

Neji strummed a solo tune on his guitar for the large crowd at the bar. Whether it was painting or playing instruments, Neji was a true genius in the field of Music and Art. When Neji finished, he took a bow as the crowd erupted in cheers. Neji could clearly hear Rock Lee's cheers over most.

Neji walked over to the group with a smirk on his face.

"Nara…welcome back to Konoha!" said Neji. He had on the usual Hyuuga attire.

"Your song was most youthful, my eternal rival!" said Lee and Neji greeted him with a handshake and Ino with a hug. Shikamaru gave Neji a hardened expression before saying,

"Let's talk…"

--

Neji and Shikamaru sat at a table across from each other. Neji had a smirk permanently plastered on his face. For those who knew Neji, they knew three things about him: he was a genius, he was a player and he was an _asshole_. There was a brief silence between the two.

"So…"

"So?"

"My book…you read it?"

"…I have to admit, Nara; you have talent in writing. I'm surprised you actually applied yourself to it. Just one question though."

"Yeah?"

"Did you have to make my character so addicted to fate?"

"You _are_ addicted to fate…"

"Yes, but you could have at least embellished my character! I sound too much like a…"

"An asshole?"

"Hn! But, I guess that's the glory of being an author…You can _word everything to fit it the way you want_." said Neji as his smirk grew even bigger. Shikamaru knew exactly what Neji was implying…

"Watch it, Hyuuga…" growled Shikamaru.

"I'm just saying…your book made me reminisce about some things I haven't thought about in a _long time_." stated Neji. Shikamaru figured this conversation wasn't going to end well as he bawled his fist.

Unexpectedly, a young brunette woman near the entrance squealed in delight.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Naruto is here! _Naruto is here_!

* * *

Anddddd I'mma leave you hanging here :-P…Chapter 1 is in the books!

Naruto arriving to the scene! Who is Naruto marrying? Will the book cause trouble? Stay tuned!

As much as I'm a Team Guy fan…I think I suck as "youth" talk…sorry to sorta "bash" Sakura as well…it fits with the story though! Also, Shikamaru was suppose to "lip-sync" the song with Ino, but I thought that was a lil too OOC for Shikamaru.

*I know I know…Stevie Wonder? Blame the movie. Good song though.

**I smiled heavily while typing this…Imagine Rock Lee saying this!!!

**Read and Review**


	3. Chapter 2

**AceBrown: Alrighty guys, here comes Chapter 2! Sorry for the small delay.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto characters in this story. Blah Blah Blah…**

_**The Best Man**_

* * *

**Chapter 2: Getting Married**

_Oh my God! Oh my God! Naruto is here! Naruto is here!_

"The frontal lobe, Nara?" said Neji while chuckling. Shikamaru ignored Neji purposely, and focused on the hysterical brunette woman.

"We should get back to the group so we can greet Naruto." stated Shikamaru.

--

"Allow me to buy you a drink!" said Rock Lee while giving Ino the "nice guy" pose.

"No! And you talk too much!" replied Ino as she bought _herself_ a margarita.

"It slipped out! I'm so sorry!" apologized Lee as Neji and Shikamaru arrived. Neji greeted Ino and Rock Lee as Shikamaru caught a glimpse of his long-time friend.

Naruto Uzamaki

"Naruto…" muttered Shikamaru as Naruto strolled into bar with two Anbu bodyguards silently following. Naruto was dressed in his traditional orange jumpsuit with his red and black sage cloak and cross necklace given to him by Tsunade*. Naruto smiled brightly as two beautiful women appeared beside him to pose as the paparazzi snapped photos.

"Wow…Konoha sure loves Naruto!" thought Shikamaru aloud.

"Yeah, I heard he is supposed to officially become Hokage in 6 months!" chimed in Ino.

"I'm going to go get the rockstar." said Shikamaru as he walked towards Naruto. Ino turned just in time to witness Neji facepalming himself.

"Still dressing up like Guy, eh?" said Neji with discontent.

--

Naruto was busy signing an autograph for a young woman when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me, Mr. Naruto? Can I have your autograph?" said a strange-sounding woman. Naruto turned around to see his long-time best friend, Shikamaru!

"Heeeyyyy!" exclaimed Naruto excitedly as he grabbed Shikamaru into a tight hug. Shikamaru returned the embrace for a while before the two split.

"Man, what were you thinking? Having a wedding while you're in the middle of becoming Hokage? Troublesome…" stated Shikamaru with a smirk on his face.

"I know, I know. But, it is what the little lady wanted." replied Naruto with a huge grin.

"Ah, well the best man is here! I'll get you across the broom; even if I have to use Shadow Bind and make you walk across it!" joked Shikamaru as the rest of the group approached Naruto and greet him with hugs and congratulations.

"_LEE!!!_" yelled a shrill voice. Everyone looked around to spot the occupant that voice…_**Sakura**_.

"There you are!" said Sakura as she walked towards Rock Lee. Rock Lee immediately left the group to greet his girlfriend. The pair cheek kissed twice. Sakura

"Sakura-chan! You're here…I thought you would be at the hospital." questioned Rock Lee. Sakura was the one of the most important medic-nins in Konoha behind Tsunade and Shizune.

"I got off early." replied Sakura flatly as she strolled past her boyfriend and towards the group.

"Well the group is all here…someone bring out the sake." greeted Sakura with mock enthusiasm.

"Hey Sakura…" replied everyone in apparent disdain. Sakura frowned at this.

"Well hello to you all too!" retorted Sakura. She turned to Shikamaru and glared.

"Well if it isn't Richard Wrong…Langston Snooze**…" started Sakura as she walked around Shikamaru in a slow, menacing pace. Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Neji, Naruto, and Ino stifled laughter in the background.

"I heard about your novel and I don't think it's cute. The next time you want to characterize me in your novel…can you do me a favor?"

"What is that, Sakura?"

"Don't!" shouted Sakura. Sakura stuck up her nose and walked back towards Rock Lee.

"Let's go Lee…I want to go shopping at this new clothing outlet and I need your assistance." said Sakura as she headed towards the exit…only to notice Rock Lee _wasn't_ following her.

"Well?" egged on Sakura.

"But, Sakura-chan…remember…I'm supposed to spend the youthful weekend with the guys…" pleaded Rock Lee. Sakura turned towards the group and noticed Neji smirking, Shikamaru looking away with a smile on his face, and Naruto and Ino struggled mightily not to burst into laughter.

"You have all night for that, this will only take a second." stated Sakura, but Rock Lee would not budge.

"Oh…I get it…it's "Gang up on Sakura" Day!" lamented Sakura as Rock Lee shook his head slowly in protest, uttering soft 'no's.

"Fine! Do what you like!" shouted Sakura as she stormed off. Neji counted down from 3.

"3….2….1…Here it comes…"

Sakura stopped at the door exit and turned to face Rock Lee with a stream of tears flowing.

"Am I really being that unreasonable?"

"My sweet cherry blossom!" cried Lee as he dashed towards Sakura to comfort her. If anybody knew Sakura…they knew her emotions were fickle as "autumn skies". Neji shook his head in disgust as Ino and Naruto exploded with laughter. Shikamaru sighed. This was becoming too troublesome…

"Hey Rock Lee, we'll catch up with you later." said Shikamaru. Rock Lee nodded and escorted Sakura out of the bar.

"Hey! We have some time to waste until Rock Lee is finished. Let's go back to my place!" said Naruto.

--

Ino and Shikamaru looked in amazement as they walked with Naruto in his brand, new mansion.

"Wow…Naruto! A mansion?" said Ino as her eyes scanned the whole living room. There were expensive paintings, sculptures, furniture, circular staircase leading up to an assortment of rooms…the works.

"Yeah, I figured buying a bigger house before the wedding would be a smart idea."

"You? Smart ideas?" joked Shikamaru as Naruto playfully punched him in the arm.

"Hello."***

The trio looked up and spotted the bride-to-be.

**Hinata Hyuuga**

Hinata beamed a bright smile as she slowly descended down the stairs. There was an air of elegant beauty that surrounded her. Naruto's eyes shined with delight as he watched his fiancé. Eventually, Hinata reached the bottom and greeted Shikamaru with a very warm, tight hug.

"I'm so glad you could make it!" exclaimed Hinata with glee.

"Well damn baby, can you let the man breathe?" joked Naruto as Hinata released her hug. She gave Ino a shorter warm hug before snuggling up under Naruto's left arm, reaching her right arm around his waist.

"Oh my God! Is this the ring?" said Ino with shock as she held Hinata's left hand up. Hinata was flaunting a HUGE diamond ring(around 10ct).

"Damn Naruto! You want her finger to fall off?" stated Shikamaru in equal shock. Naruto scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"The bigger…the better, right? And there is nothing too good for my babe." said Naruto. Hinata turned to face Naruto, chest to chest, and wrapped both arms around him while looking up.

"Awww…I love you, Naruto."

"I love you, too Hinata." replied Naruto as they both shared a kiss. Ino gagged in fake revulsion.

"Can you two save that for later!?" said Ino.

"I'm so glad you dedicated your book to us." said Hinata. The temperature suddenly dropped for Shikamaru.

"You…read my book?"

"No, but I've heard great things." replied Hinata. Shikamaru felt relief wash over him. Hinata left Naruto's embrace and walked over to Ino, grabbing her hands.

"I'm so glad you came. I need a lot of help with the wedding."

"Don't worry, 'Superwoman' is here now!" exclaimed Ino with a smile as the female pair began to walk off.

"Hey! Where are you two going?" asked Naruto loudly.

"We're having 'girl-time'. Go show Shikamaru the rest of the house." answered Hinata, shooing off the males.

Naruto and Shikamaru walked off to another part of the mansion.

"You're going to love this room!" said Naruto excitedly. But instead, Shikamaru focused on a particular photo of a young Shikamaru and Naruto on the wall.

_**Flashback**_

_The 17-year old Shikamaru and Naruto both were at Ichiraku Ramen Bar. Naruto was busy trying to scarf down a bowl of miso ramen and explain his latest mission._

"…_and I hit the guy with a Rasengan! He flew at least 20 feet!" said Naruto, trying to vividly display the scene with his hands._

"_And then…we left."finished Naruto as he focused on his ramen._

"_Wait…what?! You didn't finish the guy off or arrest him?!" shouted Shikamaru. _

"_It's against my faith." answered Naruto between mouthfuls. It was the "Breaking the chains of hatred" belief as well as Naruto's strong belief in Jiraiya's teachings. Shikamaru strongly disagreed with it._

"_Aw c'mon Naruto…you let the criminal get away!"_

"_You can't let yourself get caught up in hatred, my friend. You know, you should really read this book the Pervy Sage gave me…"_

"_Save it." answered Shikamaru bluntly as he picked at his bowl of ramen. Watching Naruto eat like an animal didn't help._

"_You're going to come around one of these days!" exclaimed Naruto happily. _

"_So tell me what happened after…" said Shikamaru. Whenever Naruto was out on a mission, there was always an "after". Naruto leaned in close to Shikamaru._

"_Yo, I met two chicks from Kumogaruke who were 'appreciative' of my efforts…they had these HUGE titties…I'm talking bazookas!"_

"_Oh man…" said Shikamaru in amazement._

"_Yeah…so we're staying in a hut…and the-"_

_Suddenly, Hinata walked into the bar. She quickly approached Shikamaru._

"_S-s-shikamaru-s-san! I have a-a scroll from Kurenai-s-sensei." said Hinata as she handed Shikamaru the scroll. Hinata timidly pressed her forefingers together as took a quick glance at the scroll._

"_What a drag…thanks Hinata." said Shikamaru as he placed the scroll in one of his Chunin vest pockets. _

"_Hey Hinata!" shouted Naruto happily. Hinata immediately blushed and turn her head away._

"_H-h-hello! N-n-n-naruto-s-san!" responded Hinata as she left the bar instantly afterwards._

"_Woah…is that really Hinata?! Did you see her tits?!" said Naruto cheekily._

"_Hey now! C'mon…Hinata has had a crush on you forever. Besides, she's a good girl. Word is that she's saving it for marriage." stated Shikamaru._

"_So what are you trying to say?! She could be 'Ms. Uzamaki!'"_

"_So could those two women from Kumogaruke…" retorted Shikamaru._

"_Haha! That's funny!" said Naruto with a laugh as he gazed towards the sun._

_**End Flashback**_

--

Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji, and Rock Lee were sitting at a card table. It was late and the boys were catching up at Naruto's mansion. Neji began to deal the cards as the group decided to play "Spades".

"It is your fate to lose against me!" stated Neji as he dealt the cards.

"Must you always disrespect the opponents, Neji-san?"

"Yes."

"Aw man…we haven't played cards in forever." stated Shikamaru as he lined up his cards.

"I know." added Naruto. Suddenly, Neji's cellphone began to ring. Neji looked at the caller ID before ignoring it and placing the phone back in his pocket. Naruto smirked at this little action.

"Same ole Neji. Still treating them like shit and having them wondering why they're still with you." said Naruto aloud with a smile.

"I'm not concerned with these hoes." answered Neji as he placed down a card.

"You mean 'women'" corrected Rock Lee.

"Heh…same ole Neji." repeated Shikamaru.

"You have no room to talk, Nara!" said Neji with a smirk.

"You have these _girlfriends _who you let dictate everything like a _queen_, yet as soon as they step out of your set boundaries…you drop them."

"That is true." chimed in Naruto.

"That's because none of the girls have been able to compare to Ino." said Rock Lee with a small smile.

"What? You're crazy, Lee!" replied Shikamaru.

"It's true! Ino is the best girlfriend you _never_ had." said Rock Lee.

"No, no! He's right!" pointed out Naruto.

"Hokage's order? Sustained?" said jokingly by Neji.

"Sustained!" said Naruto with a laugh as he used his hand as a "gavel" and softly pounded the table once. Shikamaru shook his head as the other trio laughed.

"Troublesome…"

"And did you know they both made out before?" added an eager Rock Lee.

"Yeah, about 8 years ago." replied Naruto quickly.

"I remember that. When you guys were Chunin." said Neji. Rock Lee looked around in disbelief. With a hurt expression, Rock Lee turned to Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru?..."

"You know you can't keep a secret, Lee!" said Neji. Rock Lee held his head down and shook it.

"That's SO unyouthful…" muttered Rock Lee.

"I still can't believe you haven't fucked Ino yet." said Neji.

"We're just friends! I have a woman back home." blurted out Shikamaru.

"Wait, she's a medic-nin, right?"

"No, she's a bodyguard."

"No, no. She's a chef."

"For the last time…" said Shikamaru as he struggled to stifle his own laughter while his friends roared with laughter.

"She's an instructor. She had to find her creative niche."

"Ahh, but that's good. An independent, controlling woman like Ino doesn't need a man. She's a half-step away from lesbian." stated Naruto.

The trio responded with "."

"Wait…that's a nice thought." added Neji to more laughter.

"And besides, she's probably going to make more money than you."

"C'mon Naruto…you're living in the Stone Age. You're a caveman." said Shikamaru.

"Yep, and my cousin can't wait to have Fred Flintstone's babies." stated Neji while shaking his head.

"Consummate mother whore?****" questioned Shikamaru.

"Word. We all want one." said Naruto as he lifted his fist towards Shikamaru. Shikamaru shook his head before pounding Naruto's fist with his in agreement.

"Sustained!"

"So you can't be with a woman that makes more money than you?" asked Rock Lee.

"Nope." replied Naruto honestly.

"You're lucky that Hinata is an outcast." stated Neji. Everyone knew that Hinata became an outcast from the Hyuuga family after her father deemed her a failure when she was young. Even though Hiashi treats Hinata a little bit better currently, she still doesn't have access to the riches of Hyuuga.

"I guess you don't have to worry that problem, Lee. Sakura has you whooped." said Neji.

"Bite it, Neji!" replied Rock Lee.

"Grow it, Lee!" said Neji while laughing.

Shikamaru decided to change the topic.

"So Naruto…why did you really decide to get married? Because, if you don't mind me saying, you've been dipping out on Hinata for a while now." questioned Shikamaru. Ever since Naruto saved Konoha from Pain's invasion, he became an idol to the citizens…especially the women.

"I've had enough women for 10 men! Fellas, my scrotum is soft. And in case you didn't know, marriage is the key to promiscuity."

"In what world?!" protested Neji.

"Yeah! Marriage is going to curve my appetite for more pussy! Hinata's parents have been married for over 20 years. I want that same kind of relationship. I mean, we're in the real world now…time for real things."

"Bang." said Rock Lee, using his hand as a "gun" for emphasis while agreeing with Naruto's last sentence. It made him look lame to the others though.

"Fuck that…" uttered Neji.

"Men were not meant to believe in monogamy. If they did, women wouldn't outnumber us and these bitches wouldn't—"

"Ah, c'mon Neji!" interrupted Shikamaru while Rock Lee held his hands over both of his ears.

"These women are as scandalous as us men!" proclaimed Neji.

"Not all women, Neji." answered Naruto. Upon hearing this, Neji turned towards Naruto and sported a smirk that grew from cheek to cheek.

"Oh really?"

Shikamaru and Rock Lee looked at each other in worry before turning their focus to Neji.

"Yeah, Hinata is not like that."

"How do you know?" questioned Neji in a mocking tone.

"Because her pussy curves to the size of my dick!" replied Naruto in an agitated tone. It was clear that Neji was trying to piss him off.

"Neji…" warned Rock Lee.

"Hmmm…but don't you think…that after all the women you've been with…that Hinata would be well in her rights if she possibly did the same?" questioned Neji as he rested his chin on his hand.

"It's fate!" proclaimed Neji as his eyes met with Naruto's. The tension was thick…no one uttering a sound or making a movement…

Abruptly, Naruto tossed his cards and leaned across the table, bumping it roughly enough to shock Shikamaru and Rock Lee. Naruto grabbed the front of Neji's robe and pulled him towards the middle of the table to meet him face to face. Naruto glared in fury as Neji's Byakugan eyes glared in defiance. After a few seconds, Naruto let go of Neji.

"I'm going to go take a piss…" stated Naruto as he left the group. Shikamaru and Rock Lee both turned to Neji as Neji dusted himself off.

"Why did you do that?!" cried Rock Lee. Neji didn't reply and looked at his cards.

"So who's hand is next?"

* * *

I'mma stop it here…sorry for vulgar Neji and Naruto lol Chapter came out _longer _then what I hoped for.

*It's just like the regular green/blue/aqua necklace except shaped into a cross.

**Refering to Richard Wright and Langston Hughes. Two great African-American authors/writers/poets.

***I took out the stuttering. I would think if she married Naruto, she would at least get over stuttering :P

****I'm going to assume some people won't get this. "Consummate mother whore" is a negative term for women. It refers to a woman that is desperate to have kids and a bit of the ole ideology of the "barefoot housewife"

**Read and Review**


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